i think ive undergone more personal change in the last three months than i did in the last three years. the starving and madness that comes from not working and sitting in isolation for long periods has its drawbacks, but i can't imagine a process with more potential for stepping back and really getting a hold of what garbage you've got tucked away. im sure going to therapy so often is a catalyst as well.
i realized that each of my high school years, my year in college, and my year and a half or so with Chapter Zero shared the same fate. starting out strong, with a clear head, and then completely collapsing under the weight for the second 50%. ive had the fortune to realize the underlying dynamics that caused this recurring pattern, and will be even more fortunate to not have it plague the next phase of my life. indeed, the shackles of confusion and procrastination were almost fatal.
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